Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The New Normal - For Now

It's funny how your life can change in an instant.  A month ago I spent my days writing my next novel in the comfort of my home office.  Since December 27, I'm writing my next novel in between visits to the hospital where my dad is (hopefully) recuperating from his stroke and visits to a care facility where my beautiful mom is being treated for Alzheimer's.  It's like the sky opened up and started raining down on us in gigantic icy black torrents.  Every day is up and down and my sister, brother and I are trying to grab onto stability and anything that feels normal.  It's hell watching your parents suffer.

One of my cousins told me, "Take one day at a time" and I'm really trying to follow that mantra.  Unfortunately I'm not always successful at the one day at a time thing.  It would be nice to go a full day without crying too.

I have managed to read a couple of really good books at the hospital.  One in particular brought me to tears:  STILL ALICE by Lisa Genova.  It's about a woman in her fifties who gets Alzheimer's.  Although it's a novel, it was way more fact than fiction for me.  I wished I had read it before my mom got sick.  If you've got someone you love battling Alzheimer's, I highly recommend it.

19 comments:

Angelina Rain said...

I'm sorry for all you're going through. I hope things get better. Take care. *HUGS*

Twimom227 said...

*hugs*

Angie Ledbetter said...

When we took care of Mom at home for 30 months while she fought brain cancer, it helped that we got on a "shift" schedule as soon as we could. Doing that lets you plan your week and hardens up the shifting sands you feel may suck you under. And DO take care of yourself so you can continue to be the best caregiver possible. Hugs & prayers for the journey.

Karen Walker said...

Still Alice is one of the most powerful book I've ever read. Liz, sometimes all we can manage is one minute at a time. You are dealing with two very life-changing events involving both your parents. You need to be very very gentle with yourself and not worry about the little things. I am so sorry.
Karen

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Liz, it's difficult to see just one day at a time, but it gives you a goal - get to the end of that day.
I'll continue to pray for your father and your family.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Liz,

You know we are all here for you...

Chicago hugs sent your way....

Pk Hrezo said...

Oh Liz! I am so sorry to hear this. I'm sure it is heart breaking. You take every minute you can and soak in that wonderful amazing life that gave you yours. Everything else can wait.
((Hugs))

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I'm so glad you and your siblings are there for each other. Being able to share the burdens doesn't make them go away, but it does help. Hang in there.

Trisha said...

I can't even imagine what you are all going through. Except to imagine it's one of the most awful things one can ever go through. :( I do know what it's like to know your parent is suffering, and that's no fun at all.

That book sounds like a bit of a tearjerker. I don't know if I really want to make myself cry right now, but I will add it to my TBR list anyway for sometime in the future.

My thoughts are with you and your family!

Steph Schmidt said...

*hugs* I hope the nurses and doctors have been taking good care of you too! Keeping you informed and giving you all the support you'll need as well. I've been in that situation before (loved one in the hospital long term), one of the best things I ever did was bring a pillow with me. When they go to run tests, take a nap. Catching up on the sleep the stress is stealing really helps give you the strength to cry less I found.

Sarah Pearson said...

Liz, I can't pretend to understand what you're going through but I know you're hurting. I hope things get better for you soon. Hugs to you :-)

Tracy Jo said...

It is so scary how things can change so quickly. Thinking of you and continuing to send positive thoughts your way.

Mindy Ruiz said...

Sending you a MASSIVE GIANORMOUS HUG!!! It won't fix where you are but it will most certainly let you and your family know you all are not alone. Sending up some prayers of peace for you.

Mindy Ruiz said...

And my iPhone is adding some humor... *head desk*

Danette said...

Glad you were able to check in. It's good of you to share how you are and to hear how your parents are doing. I think getting through one moment at a time is a pretty good goal. Take care of yourself while your taking care of everyone else! Best wishes!

Jean Davis said...

I'll have to check that book out. I just visited my grandmother and she had no idea who I was from one minute to the next. I take comfort in the fact that she seems happy and upbeat for the most part, but its still hearbreaking. Hugs to you!

raelynbarclay said...

{{hugs}} Liz. You and your siblings are going through a lot, with both parents. Continuing to send positive thoughts your way.

You've got some good advice here in the comments. Shifts help. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, do whatever you need to get through. And take care of yourselves so not to get run down.

We'll be here when you're ready Liz.

Marianne Arkins said...

I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. I lost my dad to cancer, and watched him die by inches -- and I didn't cherish the time I had left with him nearly enough.

You are. And that's a blessing, and something you'll never regret in days ahead.

((((hugs)))

Kim Harrington said...

Thinking of you and your family, Liz.