Friday, November 4, 2011

The Lifecycle of a Book

Here is the scientific evolution of how a book gets written:

1) A bright, shiny idea pops into your head.  Suddenly your world feels like rainbows and unicorns.
2) With a goofy smile plastered on your face, you start tapping out the first chapter on your laptop.
3) Then the second.  You're prose is incredible!  Your fingers are one with your keyboard.  You're a writing genius!
4) You begin to stock up on chocolate and potato chips at the grocery store.
5)  All of a sudden, your bright, shiny has morphed into 10 chapters! 
6)  You reach for more chocolate.
7)  And potato chips.
8) And more chocolate.
9) Wait. You forgot coffee?! 
10)  You reach the muddled middle and then realize you're pouring an extra glass of wine each night.
11) Suddenly your fascinated by Twitter and Facebook.  You google old boyfriends and neighbors.
12)  Back to the store you go for more chocolate, potato chips, and celery sticks, just to balance out the guilt. You hope nobody sees you because you forgot to comb your hair.
13)  On chapter 12, you're starting to wonder why you started writing this damn book anyway. 
14) You begin to snap at anyone who dares get within five feet of you.
15)  You forget to call your friends, your mom, the lady who cuts and highlights your hair. You forget to sleep.
16) You slog out another chapter.
17) Then another.
18) All of a sudden, a light burns bright at the end of your tunnel.  For a heartbeat, you see those rainbows and unicorns again.  Where have they been?!
19) You're in love with your bright, shiny idea again!  You let yourself wonder if it'll be a bestseller!!
20)  The End is definitely in sight. 
21)  You hug your laptop while your family considers fitting you for a strait jacket.
22)  You type your final words into your laptop like you have only one more hour to live.
23)  1000 words.
24)  500 (reasonably good) words.
25)  Breathless, you type "The End."  You did it!  You've got your first draft.
26)  Now the real fun begins...

Good luck to everyone participating in NaNoWriMo! May we always love bright, shiny ideas.

23 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

Insert the wine into a few more places and you've got my process down pat! ;o)

Pat Hatt said...

Change chips to pringles and pretty darn close..haha

Karen Walker said...

Love this, Liz, only in my case, my fingers are not typing anything these days except blog posts, comments, and emails. Sigh!
Karen

gaylene said...

So true. And funny :)

raelynbarclay said...

More wine. More coffee. LOL

Great post Liz!

Mel Fowler said...

I like the picture, it's really funny. Thanks and good luck to you too. Hopefully my story stays shiny and nice!

Talli Roland said...

Ha! So, so true. Although I'm not sure I'd call re-drafting 'fun'... :)

Deniz Bevan said...

Argh... that dreaded ending, when editing must begin........

Angelina Rain said...

Great post and so true.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

My slogging occurs in the beginning. Makes it difficult to get going!

Tara Tyler said...

great way to start the weekend!

*checks clock*
yup, it's afternoon, here's to liz's reality check on writing a book!

LD Masterson said...

Ah, you're obviously not a plotter. Somewhere between step 1 and 2 I'm up on the floor with a storyboard and index cards and characters logs, oh,and can't forget my research notes.

But from step 2 on, it looks pretty accurate.

Tracy Jo said...

Lol! I love it. The last few days I have been polishing off the Halloween candy. Have a great weekend!

Trisha said...

Love this list! And I love NaNo a lot too!!

Sarah Pearson said...

How did you get into my head?

Madeleine said...

Fabulous! I love it I can so identify with this. Brilliant, utterly brilliant!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Sounds pretty darned close, only wine and writing are a poor mix for me. Makes me "think" I can write anything, but makes me too darned sleepy to do anything about it.

James Garcia Jr said...

Ha! Very funny, Liz. There's lots of wine/Crown & Cokes in my tale as well, but never while writing. Wouldn't get much right that way. The drinking comes as you promo while forgoing sleep!! *laughs*

-Jimmy

Romance Reader said...

Hilarious! And what happens after you type "The End?"

J.L. Campbell said...

Sounds wonderful and crazy and makes me think all writers aare crazy.

Nas Dean said...

Sounds like you have it down pat! Funny!

Theresa Milstein said...

Close to my experience. Less chocolate and chips, more coffee and wine. Yesterday, I wrote over 1k. It was the first time in weeks because I'm taking a class that has had many papers due. It felt so good to write fiction again... for now.

Happy writing!

Kittie Howard said...

Liked the part about the light at the end of the tunnel. There were times, before "Remy Broussard's Christmas" got to Kindle, I thought the light was a train coming!

Please insert more Diet Pepsi!