Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Apologies to Jerry Seinfeld

I did a fair amount of flying the last few weeks and felt a little like Jerry Seinfeld as I sat in airport waiting rooms, snaked my way through long security lines, ate airport food, and just generally did my best to avoid anyone who sneezed or coughed.  Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry got to fly first-class and Elaine flew coach?  One of my all-time fave episodes.  Anyway, although my nose is usually stuck in my e-reader whenever I travel, I do have a couple of Jerry Seinfeld-esque observations from my latest trip:

1) Once anyone gets upgraded to First-Class (it happened to me, twice on this trip!), there should be a TSA rule that you can never go back to Coach.  Ever. 

2) The safety speech before take-off.  You know that speech.  The mechanical-sounding one where the flight attendants point to the exits and tell you that there's no smoking?  Yeah, that one.  Could they possibly update the part about how to lock your seatbelt in place?!  I mean, seriously.  Is there anyone within the sound of my voice who doesn't know how to lock a seatbelt?

3) As soon as the plane lands and the seatbelt sign goes off...does everyone have to all at once behave like a pack of wild animals? I feel sorry for anyone over the age of 80 who has to fly. 

4) The security lines for Priority Check-in are way nicer (See #1 above).  I think I even saw a few TSA agents smile. 

5)  I keep waiting for Kramer to come barrelling out of the baggage carousel but, so far, it hasn't happened. :-) (You have to love Seinfeld to understand.)

Glad to be home.


Deniz Bevan said...

"Do you realise the people here are getting cookies?!"
DH's father worked for our national airline for years and not only gets discounted tickets, they're on standby - so if a seat is open in first class, he'll get that seat. His entire family has flown first class at least once, if not multiple times, for the price of a couple hundred dollar ticket. Not me :-(

Colette Martin said...

Ah, all so true. I'd like to add a rule that there is no charge for checking bags. The number of people carrying on bags really makes the "zoo" a lot worse -- for both boarding and landing.

Karen Walker said...

Made me smile, Liz, since we just returned from travel abroad. Oh how I'd love to experience first class just once in my life.

Julie Flanders said...

I love Seinfeld! I had to laugh about the speech the flight attendants give. I don't even fly very often and I'm so tired of it, I can't imagine how tired they must be of doing it. I really can't see the point of it at all.

I've never flown first class but hope I do at least once! :)

Melanie Fowler said...

I haven't seen this episode, but you did justice in re-telling. I love to fly, glad you had fun travelling!

LD Masterson said...

People who are not smart enough to buckle and unbuckle their seatbelt should not be allowed to travel alone.

I love the way people are trying to get around the checked bag charge by hauling their bags to the gate and asking for a gate check ticket.

Tara Tyler said...

i wonder how he would joke on the scanners, i hate those things!

glad you got home safe!

Angelina Rain said...

I never got into that show.

Glad to hear you're home safe.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm a Seinfeld fan, so I understand!
What's crappy is overseas flights have much larger areas for coach. Here in the state, you're stacked like crates.

J E Fritz said...

Don't forget you have to spot Kramer running alongside the landing plane.

I've never flown first class, but it sounds nice. TSA agents that smile? How high class.

Sarah Tokeley said...

How cool that you got to travel first class - twice :-)

Unknown said...

lol... I <3 Seinfeld. I saw his live standup once and it was the funniest show ever.
So, as you may or may not know, I work for an airline... and I've flown a TON. Yes, the speech needs to be updated. Sometimes we get funny flight attendants who improv the speech... especially to Vegas. It's great.
And yes, coach is so much more cramped, annoying, and cattle-esque after you've had the pleasure of first class. Hubby and I often take turns sitting in first if there's only 1 seat, and we have a rule, "what happens in first class, stays in first class." Cuz whomever rides coach don't wanna hear about it. lol ;)

LTM said...

omg! LOL! I'd love to see Kramer come barreling out... And yes. Once you fly first class, it's very difficult to downgrade. (Hubs would say once you've flown private jet, but that would make us all beat him up... LOL! :D <3

CA Heaven said...

Must admit I've never watched Seinfeld ... but I do more than plenty of flying.

Cold As Heaven